Fat Girl Walking by Brittany Gibbons
Published by: Dey Street Books
Published on: May 19, 2015
Page Count: 240
Genre: Memoir
My Reading Format: Hardcover sent to me to participate in the author’s book tour.
Available Formats: Hardcover, eBook, and Audiobook
Excerpt from Chapter 13:
NOW WHAT?
My fitness and body aspirations at thirty are different from my aspirations at twenty. At twenty, I just assumed I’d work out until I was so tiny, people became concerned for my health and I’d roll my eyes at them from my Victoria’s Secret bras and Abercrombie jeans. Now I just want to maintain my current weight so I don’t need to buy new clothes. When you look at weight loss, it’s often clothing driven. Weddings, vacations, and high school reunions, all things you are supposed to be thin for. But what if you have a gorgeous wedding dress in your current size, loads of flattering bathing suits, and a killer pair of jeans? Starving myself has suddenly become a moot point. I have options; I’m no longer a fashion pariah. So where does that leave my weight? Well, unless I’m sitting atop you, what I weigh is really none of your business.
I like to put good food in my mouth, and while I am aware of the calories I ingest, instead of cutting them I make them count. I have a full-on love affair with food, appreciating the different cultures and processes within it. In fact, I take entire vacations around eating. It’s how I remember where I’ve been; I’ve either eaten, thrown up, or started my period without the proper supplies there.
Beignets with my best friend in New Orleans. Too much rum on the beaches of Playa del Carmen on our second honeymoon. Orlando, Florida, the city of emergency men’s tube sock maxi-pads.
You see, these flabby parts aren’t problem areas; they’re parts of a scrapbook.
My Review
2015 has been an exciting year. Within a relatively short period of time of being offered a spot on Brittany Gibbons’ Fat Girl Walking tour, People published a magazine featuring a plus size model and I discovered Dietland, a newly released novel.
As a plus size woman, this both thrills and challenges me. One the one hand, books, articles, and pictures of women who look more like me are becoming just a little more prevalent. On the other hand, my own beauty standards, having been formed over the past 43 three years, currently have no place for those women or for me. While I love the title Fat Girl Walking, it was the sub-title that grabbed my attention when I was invited to participate on this book tour: Sex, Food, Love, and Being Comfortable in Your Skin… Every Inch of It. I knew going into this book tour that I had a lot of work to do to become comfortable in my own skin. I hadn’t stopped to realize how much my lack of comfort carried over into the way I saw others as well. When the book arrived, I was ready to get started.
As I mentioned, it was the sub-title of this book that hooked me. Because I wanted and needed that getting comfortable part, I found myself getting impatient with Brittany’s story about growing up, getting married, having sex, making babies, and becoming a body image advocate online. My initial thought was that this book wasn’t all that I had hoped it would be. Then, when she talks about mothering her daughter, I was smacked in the face. What I wanted from this book was a magic bullet. This is no different than diets, exercise plans, magic jobs, etc… Brittany demonstrated that loving and being proud of oneself is an uphill battle. It doesn’t happen overnight, even when you’ve got a fabulous, open, first hand account of how to get there. This doesn’t just apply to the overweight, either. There are infinite possibilities when it comes to human insecurities. Mine all just happen to center around my weight. I was furiously reading for that “A-Ha!” moment, that kernel of wisdom that would turn off the negative voice in my head and the need to binge eat my emotions away. There is no such thing. Growth as a person comes from the struggle. I took a deep breath, forgave myself my impatience, and went back to reread Fat Girl Walking more carefully. This time I read it to get to know a woman bravely gave a TED talk in a bikini but is most impressive to me because she let the world see that all of this is a work in progress. Nothing good comes overnight.
Reading about Brittany’s success online supporting curvy girls, I see how life is a two steps forward, one step back game. This is a hard concept for me because I find my relationship with dieting and exercise a game of absolutes. If I am not 100% on my diet and exercise game, I am 100% off of it. I need to start small and I’ve chosen to look for and celebrate the beauty in all people I meet, not just those who fit nicely into society’s standards. Fat Girl Walking also solidified something that has been percolating inside my head for almost a year now. If I can’t love myself in this body right here, right now, I won’t be able to truly love myself on that magic day somewhere off in the future when I reach a size 8. Whatever happiness I might experience when I’m that “perfect Jennifer” will by necessity be conditional. The moment those skinny jeans start to get snug, I will be no better off then than I am as a size 24 today. When I’m rational about it, it truly is rediculous that I treat myself the way that I do. I would never consider withholding my love from or making it conditional for someone I care about. Why in the world do I have to fight the impossible fight to earn my own love? I deserve better than that today and every day in the future I’m blessed to be alive. No restrictions. No black out dates. Forever. End of story.
I’ve been working with a professional coach for a year now. Though I’ve been making some great strides in my life, reading Fat Girl Walking was another wake up call for me. When you’re open to grow and change, opportunities show up everywhere. I’m glad I allowed myself the opportunity to get past what I wanted and took the time to find what I needed.
Giveaway
Would you like to read Fat Girl Walking? The publisher is giving away 5 copies of the book during Brittany’s tour. Enter for your chance here:
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Too impatient to wait on a giveaway? Use any of these links to pick up your copy online or simply head to your local bookstore.
